Friday, February 03, 2006

I'm sorry but it had to happen

"Who's playin tonight?""
The jolly green giants, crucial tot, and the shitty beatles"
"The shitty beatles? They any good?"
"No, they suck"
"So its not just a clever name"

"What is it?"
"Open it"
"If its a severed head I'm going to be very upset"

Thursday, February 02, 2006


Its very quiet in this library. Someone's cell phone goes off. The ringtone is Mozart and I start weeping. I don't know if its really Mozart. That's why I'm weeping. I'm so stupid. Tears fall onto hands that are typing so fast, so furiously, that when the tears hit there is a sizzle, and a little puff of steam. Its clearing my sinuses.

I look up and see row after row of black monitors. My neck hurts and I twist it. It cracks. A dozen heads rise from behind their monitors. Animatronic dinosaurs. They look at me, and then disappear into a land time forgot.

I think "Think" and I think about thinking. Its harder than you'd think. I think about writing that last stupid sentence. I think about erasing it. They'll think I'm stupid.

I'm stupid so its ok.

I think about things to think about. Katie. What rhymes with Katie other than "Masturbate-y"? Matey rhymes with Katie. I think about that. I think about pirates. I think about Katie as a pirate. She has a peg-leg and a parrot on her shoulder. The parrot has a peg-leg. The parrot is also a pirate. I laugh. Snot hits the screen.

The dinosaurs rise again. I wonder if they can see the snot. But they're just robots. They're just rubber skin and electric veins.

Other things. None of them are funny. Or not at least, as funny as pirate Katie.

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